Sunday Newscape Magazine

Minutes of the Seventeenth Meeting of the Board of Directors of CorporateGeeks Incorporated, held on 3rd March 2001 at CorporateGeeks Headquarters in Raleigh, North Carolina: The meeting began late because no one on the Board of Directors wanted to take the minutes.

All right, you people asked for it. Several weeks ago, I wrote a column in which I said that I wanted to be an assistant to Miss Cleo, the cable TV psychic whose commercials are probably a major factor in the high divorce rate. “Do you think someone is keeping a secret from you? Call me now!” she says gleefully.

If Miss Cleo is legit, she must be ready to scream by now. I know a lot of people think she’s fake. Miss Cleo is the Tarot Card reader whose commercials air on cable television about every five or six seconds. She listens to the spirits that surround her and consults the cards while people call in with questions. She then proceeds to tell her callers why their lives are a mess.

To Whom It May Concern:

This letter serves as my strong recommendation of Jennifer Layton. Jennifer has worked with me for the past eight months and was recently laid off due to company restructuring. The fact that I found out about this layoff by walking past Jennifer’s office and seeing her throwing her personal possessions into a big box and muttering something like, “Thank God I’m finally leaving this armpit of a job,” should be no reflection on her true attitude.