Sunday Newscape Magazine

This week a news story resurfaced from a while back that really made me think. I won’t mention names out of respect for their privacy, but I am sure you heard about it. This landmark case involved a supermodel, a successful architect, and one young personal assistant. We all know this could be a recipe for disaster.

The outcome was devastating for the former couple and their children. Due to the accusations involved; the media turned this case into a classic soap opera. The supermodel was portrayed as the victim, the architect as an adulterous pig, and the personal assistant as the innocent bystander. Go figure.

After reading the story a few times it became clear to me what happened in this case. This man felt insignificant plain and simple. This powerful emotion is the reason why most marriages don’t survive.  Over time the communication lines between couples do fall apart because marriage is a process that constantly needs an overhaul. If nothing is done to fix the problem, one or both, will find that significant feeling somewhere else. Problem is, we live in a “me” society where giving up is part the norm.

Some try marriage counseling, I call that a paid friend. Counselors in these situations don’t know you so how can they help you? I know counselors mean well, but usually offer only boilerplate remedies. To them, every situation like this may look the same, but in actuality all are different. It is up to the couple involved to sit down with each other during this tumultuous period, face what is happening, and open up with each other before everything falls apart.

Try this. If you are having problems try not talking to each other. You might think I am crazy, but hear me out. Make time to write down your feelings concerning the relationship then ask your partner to do the same on a separate piece of paper. Once completed, switch papers and offer a compromise in writing next to the listed problem. Then set a time and return it with something special and talk about it. I personally like pictures, why not enclose one of the both of you? There are other means like candy, cards, or flowers, but a picture sends a powerful message to your partner of how much you care. Just make sure you are sincere, honest, and forthright about your feelings and even mention how you would like to create a new future.

I can’t guarantee a good outcome, but you are offering hope to each other before the issues get out of hand. Most important, your chest will feel a whole lot lighter by spilling your guts with pen and paper. Do this often if you think the relationship is becoming distant. We all change overtime and this process will at least open up the communication lines again.

As for our architect, I only wish this couple worked things out because their children will never be the same again. Stupid actions like this are done everyday by millions of people. Without this story resurfacing again I would not have been inspired to help others this way.

© Jerry Maldonado 2008 all rights reserved