Sunday Newscape Magazine

Fear is only as deep as the mind allows. - Japanese proverb

Are you afraid? Oh, you might call it anxiety or jealousy or sadness or any number of other pseudonyms, but peel away the socially correct terms and it's all fear. Afraid of losing someone; afraid of being unworthy; afraid of rejection; afraid of looking ridiculous. We could go on - but why bother. It's all the same stuff.

I decided some time back that life makes most sense when we recognize that the simple and the profound are usually one and the same. I saw that there were only two realities we live in life - Love or Fear. This unfussy notion gives huge insight into our all-too human journey of beguiling emotions.

Imagine someone standing before you right now livid with anger...at you. How might you respond? Perhaps duck and cover? Maybe fight back? Both are primitive reactions of our age-old fight or flight response instincts. But, there's something beyond the duality of fight back or run. It's to recognize anger, even rage, for what it truly is - fear.

Sure, it wears a scary face and has a loud voice. It doesn't look like scared at all, does it? If you disengage your own personal emotions from the moment and step back you'd see a different picture. You'd see someone afraid of not getting their way or being out of control. But, in most societies, fear is not an acceptable display of emotions. Back to our animal instincts - fear attracts predators. Weak animals, afraid animals, are easy targets. So, they're quickly abandoned by their pack to avoid the attention of enemies and preserve the safety of the others. Deep in our bones, we know that to show fear is to risk being abandoned. So, anger works much better...and tends to feel more powerful too.

Look back at that angry person before you and now see their display of fury and hostility as fear. How do you tend to react when you know someone is afraid? With compassion; with gentleness, with empathy? With a desire to comfort or support? Notice how differently you feel inside faced with that situation. You aren't fighting or fleeing - you're wanting to help.

Whether the one before you is conscious enough to realize that their anger is really fear in disguise or not - you can know it. And your energy shift and understanding response can diffuse their emotions like water on fire. They won't even know why they suddenly feel calmer. But, they will.

At the invisible energetic level, you've told them, "I'm not your enemy. I'm not here to hurt you. I understand." Isn't that what we're all after? To be understood. And isn't that love?

When we love we invite, we share, we partner, we relax. Anything that is not love is fear. And in the next issue of Waking Up, we'll explore the reality that fear doesn't even really exist. There truly IS only love. There is nothing for us in fear.