Sunday Newscape Magazine

One doesn't discover new lands without consenting to lose sight of the shore for a very long time. ~ Andre Gide

Whenever I need to decide a course of action there are two questions I always ask myself and my choice becomes immediately clear.

The first question is: "What is my underlying motivation for choosing X?"

A while back I finally admitted that working for someone else - being their employee - wasn’t fulfilling anymore. It was hard obeying a leadership that, in my opinion, was indecisive and uncaring. It was time I followed my own calling and left the ranks of employment.

But, I’d never not had a steady paycheck and all my survival fears sprang into life at the thought of being on my own. Over and over the excitement of doing my own work caved to the fear of failing. I even flirted with the idea of just getting another job - returning to the comfort of the steady paycheck. I even interviewed with a few companies - good companies - good income. But, each time, I walked away feeling depressed and lost.

That’s when it hit me - if I returned to the business workforce, I’d be doing it out of fear. I’d be giving up on a dream and settling for security. My motivation for decision making became clear that day…either I move forward or I retreat with every decision I make. Moving forward is saying yes to possibility, growth, challenge; or it’s saying yes to retreat and fear. These are the only two choices we face - grow or stagnate.

Think back on the important decisions you’ve made in your life. Did you make the choice from empowered thoughts of becoming more…or from the protective thoughts of avoiding risk? In the long run, I believe that it’s the motivation behind the decision that determines your outcome much more than the actual decision itself. How so? When you choose to live safely you challenge the universe to teach you the valuable lesson that safety never comes from outside of you. You can’t protect yourself from difficulties or challenges by marrying a protector.

Protectors leave, die, lose interest. You can’t make yourself safe by avoiding change and risk. Standing still - even hiding - makes you a sitting target. Doing nothing risky IS risky. Life is a raging river and trying to remain immoveable is the surest way to invite danger.

The only real safety is the one you generate from within yourself. YOU are your safety. You can handle it! You can count on you. 

You won’t go away. You won’t lose interest. When your safety is internal you are more able to weather the changes out there. The world around you may be in chaos, but you remain peaceful. This is the lesson the life seeks to teach you. Until you learn it, all your “safe” choices out there will end in disappointment.

The second question ties directly into the first: "Who am I becoming with this choice? Who am I telling the world I am?"

Every choice and decision you make defines who you are. It reveals your internal thoughts, fears, and ambitions. Each day you write your biography. You script your life. It’s easy to say you value your loved ones. But, how do you treat them? Do you spend time with them? Where are they on your list of priorities? Your real values are reflected in your choices. And your choices tell the world who you are. If you want to really know someone well, stop listening to who they say they are and start watching their choices. You’ll learn much and quickly.

What choices are you facing right now? What is clamoring for your attention? How are you dealing with that? Is safety driving your decisions? Watch out! A lesson is coming!

All organic beings - be they plant or animal - are in a constant state of growth and change. That IS the definition of life! There is no playing it safe. To stop growing and changing is to die. Unfortunately some of us die and keep walking around – the walking dead. You see them everyday. Those who’ve given up and believe that being cautious will bring them safety.

Have you ever known that to be true??? Are you basing your life choices upon that fallacy?

Year beginnings is a natural time to take stock and assess. This year do a decision quality inventory.

1. What is the most important decision I face right now?
2. What do I REALLY want to happen?
3. Is my choice reflective of what I really want? If not, am I deciding out of fear? Am I playing it safe?
4. What are my choices telling my family about who I am?
5. What am I telling the world about me with what I choose?

Nice thing about change is that it’s always available to you at any time of the day or night. It never expires. Don’t like your answers to the above? Change it now. You CAN you know!

(c) Karen Wright all rights reserved - http://wrightminded.com