Sunday Newscape Magazine

When you see celebrities talking on TV, quite often if they have recently fallen in love, they will say that they have finally found their ‘soul mate’. The funny thing is that when two people connect and fall in love, not all people connect on the same level. If you have not yet found your ‘soul mate’, the love of your life, when you do what type of connection do you expect to make?

Are you hoping to connect with someone on a deep level and having much in common philosophically or religiously? Are you looking to meet someone who shares your values and morals? Is what you’re looking in a partner a bit more basic, are you looking for someone with a specific body type? Maybe you’re looking for someone who likes the same type of food, clothing, movies and music that you do? Or… are you looking for someone who is simply great in bed and likes to do the same sexual things that you enjoy?

The question is that if two people connect on a superficial level and they’re not aware of the deeper things that they’re missing out on, can they be just as happy as couples who connect on a much deeper level? I believe they can because sometimes “ignorance is bliss”. What often happens is that as the years go by and people mature, when the basis of their relationship is based on superficial things, chances are that they will go grow apart because the two of them are not same persons that they were ten years earlier.

Relationships often fall apart when one or both of you realize that there is so much more to love that you two are missing out on, that is when you have a problem. When you hit that wall, the two of you will need to put some effort into your relationship so that the two of you find new common ground. Staying together and being happy with each other has much to do with evolving together in a compatible direction. If you still love each other, you must do this or the two of you will become bored or miserable and at that point, the relationship is over.

Some people are lucky when it comes to love. They find their soul mate when they are barely out of their teens and they stay together a very long time, sometimes until one of them dies of old age. Even though neither one had that much experience in matters of the heart, they found the person who was right for them. There are other people, when they’re young, who intuitively know there is much more to love than just great sex or fun times. After a person has been in a romantic relationship with ten or more persons, he/she should know what type of person would be a good ‘soul mate’ candidate.

Most times when a relationship comes to a crashing end, one or both ends up feeling some pain for while. Even though it hurts when you lose someone you love, the lesson that you learn from going through that should help you in making better choices in the future when it comes to deciding who you’re going to become involved with romantically.

In case you’re one of those people who sometimes forget important life lessons, you should make a list of what types of things you’re looking for in a soul mate. What level are you looking to connect on?    Now one day, you might meet someone who causes you to feel a sense of love that is so wonderful and exciting that it is unlike anything you’ve ever felt before. Okay, then enjoy the ride but a few months later on down the road, before you start talking about moving in together or getting married. You should check your list and have a talk with him/her to find out for sure, how much the two of you really have in common and then decide if that is enough to make it last forever.

Now, if you’ve had more than fifty sexual partners, during your life so far, and you meet someone who is the most thrilling sexual partner you’ve ever had, give yourself seventy-five bonus points. A perfect relationship would add up to one hundred points, if you were working off a checklist. I believe that great sex can keep two people together for a long time, as long as the sex remains exciting and neither partner starts nagging the other about small meaningless stuff when they’re not in bed having sex.

If you’ve had more than one sexual partners during you life so far, you’re never going to find anyone who can cause you to settle down because your life is just too thrilling. No soul mate can compete with that. You are living the life that most guys can only dream of. Still, there may come a day when you want to find someone to have children with and you have to pick one woman to start a family with. You have to realize that if you’ve had too many lovers, you have to find another reason, other than sex, to keep the two of you together. You see, in life, when you know too much about any one thing, it is easy to become bored because there is no mystery to hold your attention. Sometimes knowing too much is like a double edge sword and as long as you understand that, you won’t go wasting your time looking for something that can’t be found because it doesn’t exist.

Sometimes we find the happiness we seek when we realize how lucky we are to have found the person who is willing to go the distance with us.

If you know anyone who is still looking for his/her soul mate and if you believe that he/she might benefit this information, cut out this column and send it to him/her or hang it on a wall where it will be seen. As always, I welcome your comments. You may write to me at This e-mail address is being protected from spam bots, you need JavaScript enabled to view it