Sunday Newscape Magazine

I just returned from a four day intensive. This workshop, conducted deep in the rich wet woods of British Columbia was touted as life changing. The skeptic in me claimed citizenship to Missouri - "show me!" And I found that the most effective tool to meet that challenge was the mirror the program offered. I was shown in spades!

Persona...Webster's Dictionary defines this as a public role or personality. But, this Latin-based word actually means mask. The face we put on each day to interact with our worlds. Sometimes we change masks to be the person we want others to see. Those at work see one mask; those at home may see another. For those of us addicted to our masks, we’re reluctant to take them off even when we are alone. For beneath that mask of public acceptability lies the raw, unsophisticated truth of who we are. And the constant droning of the world tells us who we are isn’t good enough, so the mask stays on.

Do you remember an old Twilight Zone episode where a dying man assembled all his remaining relatives at his eminent death and imposed a requirement for inheritance? He demanded that each person don a mask he'd had specially made for them and wear the mask until the stroke of midnight. If you recall, once the hour struck each person removed their mask to reveal a face forever molded to the mask's grotesque features. No longer could they conceal their ingratiating deceit - who they really were was literally written all over their faces.

When our mask stays on long enough we begin to forget who we are without it. Who am I when I'm not the sister? Who am I when I'm not the employee? Who am I when I'm not the consumer? When I'm alone and I look in the mirror...really look in the mirror - who do I see? Do I know this person? Do I like this person? Can I love this person?

This workshop stripped me of my mask and it was frightening. All the fears and insecurities, the doubts and unworthiness were disrobed for all the world to see. The rawness of this exposure made me feel more naked than I've ever been. The emotions ran...literally, down my cheeks. And there was the most amazing mix of fear and relief. Relief from the constant pressure of appearing perfect and the fear that no one would like the real imperfect me.

And you know what? They did like the real me. Most of them had already seen through the mask anyway. It appears that I was fooling no one but myself with my persona. All that energy and meticulous attention to acceptability was wasted effort. I could just be me.

To be authentic, you must remove the mask. If you don't, how will you ever know that those who like you like the real you? Do they even know who the real you is? Let's face it, not everyone in life likes or appreciates you now - even with your best mask! And you have to feel a bit like a fraud.

Take the mask off! Some people will still not like you. But, those who do will be seeing the real you. And you will be able to look in the mirror and like what you see too. You are a wonderful creature - full of life, passion, and special gifts. Let the world experience that fully. Let yourself be your SELF. And if you don't know who you are, well - find out. Take the mask off and go look in the mirror. Long and hard. Then smile and you'll see your soul looking back!

(c) Karen Wright - http://wrightminded.com