Sunday Newscape Magazine

To realize that your particular take on the world is only one of millions of interpretations is a humbling experience. The way you see a situation, the feelings you have about a person, the beliefs that you’ve adopted are no more right or wrong than anyone else’s - yes, even the person you believe is dead wrong! It’s just your take.

This is an easy concept to intellectually grasp, but a difficult one to truly own. We give birth to the thoughts and beliefs we have and we defend them dearly because we think those beliefs are who we are. When someone disagrees with us we feel personally attacked. We lose track of the notion that they are disagreeing with our idea, not discounting who we are as a person. They may even lose track of that notion!

Much of the personal-ness we feel in arguments and conflicts is based upon our misunderstanding that the thought and the person are one. But, they’re not. The thought is the creation of the person. People create many thoughts and beliefs – sometimes even conflicting thoughts and beliefs. Every now and then they even change their thoughts and beliefs. But, they’re still the same person. They’ve simply changed their notions about something they perceive.

You are not your beliefs. Your beliefs can fluctuate over the course of your life. Your beliefs and ideas are more like the clothes you wear. They belong to you, and they fit…for a while or lifetime. But, they are your creation; they’re not you. You are much richer and complex than any belief you will ever have.

Understanding this at the deepest level of your soul allows you to retire from your battle with the world to prove yourself right. Because you aren’t right - and you aren’t wrong. And neither is anyone else.

Right and wrong are the parents of competition. But, life is not a competition. It’s a laboratory in which you learn…about yourself and about others. No learning is possible when you compete - you only attack and defend. You don’t hear the other person, and you don’t consider their point of view. Your doors are closed - nothing gets in. And you don’t get through to them either. The battle of differing ideas now becomes a battle of egos.

When you strongly believe something, there is no need to attack or defend. Your belief can outlast any attack and has no need to convince others. Convincing others is your ego’s favorite pastime: seeking confirmation that you’re right. If you truly believe, you won’t need confirmation or agreement from anyone. Your need to influence them disappears. You recognize that beliefs are personal - a result of a very specific set of experiences, values, and perspectives. No one on this earth possesses the exact same background and make up that you do. It’s futile to force them to see it from your perspective.

Know this as you move through the rest of your day - those who create conflict with you over a difference of belief are likely to be inwardly uncertain about how much they believe what they profess. Strength of conviction has no need to prove itself. Resist your ego’s need to win. There is no winning.

Listen closely to those who disagree with you. Have they seen something you haven’t? Will this information give you a better understanding? If yes - well, then you just made a personal change for the better. If no - then hearing them out, even if it doesn’t change your thoughts, will certainly impress them with your strength of character.

In Joy Karen

(c) Karen Wright all rights reserved - http://wrightminded.com