Sunday Newscape Magazine

I recently attended a wedding and as I heard the couple saying their marriage vows “until death do us part”, I thought about it and I wondered how many individuals, while they are being married are really thinking “or until I can afford to upgrade”

In recent years, I’ve noticed that many men and women will leave their spouse when someone better comes along, someone with more money or someone much sexier. I believe that many people enter into marriage or into a live-in relationship thinking that “this will do for now but when someone better comes along, I will upgrade”.

At this time, much of humanity is living life at warp speed. Before 1900, cars, airplanes, and many other wonderful things had not yet been invented. During the next one hundred years, more things were invented and perfected that since the beginning of recorded history. As a species, many of us got into the habit of upgrading when a better TV, a sexier looking car or a much more improved computer became available for purchase. I sense that “need to upgrade” and have the much better and improved version has worked its way into our love lives. 

Many of us because of our appearance or financial situation know that most likely we’re not going to find someone extremely beautiful to marry us or move in with us so we take what we can get. Then if we come into money, all of a sudden that person we’ve been with for the last five or ten years no longer satisfies us, we feel a strong urge to upgrade. Yes, “money changes everything”. (a line from Cyndi Lauper song)

I knew a guy who dating a woman who was not attractive at all. She had some serious self-esteem issues. So, he spent quite a bit of money on her. He paid for her to get her teeth fixed, a nose job, breast implants and several facial procedures to clear up the bad skin on her face. In the end, she turned out to be quite an attractive woman. Handsome guys started approaching her and soon after that, she upgraded. She dumped the guy who paid for it all. The lesson here is that you must never pay to upgrade another because once he/she becomes attractive and sexy, you will get dumped. The smart thing to do is to spend money upgrading yourself so that you will appeal to a more attractive group of potential lovers.

A few thousand dollars spent on cosmetic surgery or joining a gym and getting in shape can help you score with sexy lovers unlike anyone you’ve ever had before.   If you’re single, you should do at least one thing a year that upgrades you as far becoming more appealing to the opposite sex. If you’re married, if you spent money upgrading your spouse, you might still get dumped for a new and much more improved model. If you’re married, the smart thing to do is for both of you to improve your appearance at the same time so there isn’t that big of a point spread on the ‘ten scale’ of desirability between the two of you. If you end up with more than a five-point difference, between the two of you, someone is going to get dumped because the other one is going to upgrade. It is simply a matter of time before someone comes along and steals him/her away.

With all the new medical advances going on, cosmetic surgery is becoming more popular all the time, as more people improve their physical appearance, this is going to lead to more people upgrading and leaving their partners who have been with them for many years. Why would anyone drive around in a beat up old car when he/she can afford to buy a new car? The same applies to whom you go to bed with at night.   Why would any attractive person want to have sex with an unattractive person when he/she can score with some sexy? I’ve had cosmetic surgery and yes; it did improve my scoring ratio significantly.

Whether it is because of cosmetic surgery, money or people not feeling guilty about breaking marriage vows, more and more people are sexually upgrading when the opportunity presents itself. I’m not saying it’s a good thing but it is a fact of life. I know it is not fair when someone who has been loving and loyal for many years get dumped because the other person wants someone younger, sexier or wealthy.

So, if you have a spouse that you love deeply, you must never take him/her for granted. You must always stay in shape and keep yourself sexually desirable for your spouse. Don’t let yourself go and get out of shape, don’t stop caring about your appearance or that could give him/her the motivation that he/she needs to upgrade. 

If you know anyone who has been the victim of an upgrade, cut out this column and send it to him/her or hang it on a wall where it will be seen. That way, your friend will be inspired to improve himself/herself, and then he/she will be able to find someone attractive and exciting to fall in love with. Happiness in life has much to do with handling heartbreak, learning lesson from it and doing what you must to put yourself in a better situation. As always, I welcome your comments. You may write to me at  This e-mail address is being protected from spam bots, you need JavaScript enabled to view it