As the father of three children I see all the struggles they endure everyday or at least I thought I did. My thirteen year old complains she’s too short, my ten-year-old thinks she’s stupid, and my six year old, well; the world is a happy place.

The point is where did they learn this? My wife and I do our best to follow all the rules and create a loving household, but we still endure these ridiculous comments from our older ones on a daily basis.

All of this came to light on a recent trip to the town pool. My ten year old approached me after being insulted by one of her so-called friends. I saw the pain in her eyes as she told me about what happened and I immediately approached the parent of the child. After about a minute of hearing “kids will be kids” or “she would never say that” I knew I found the missing piece of the puzzle.

That missing piece is “acceptance” by their peers. This powerful emotion of just fitting in will affect our children for the rest of their lives. Petty insults, bullying, and physical violence can not only create a withdrawn and insecure child, but has a life long affect as they mature into adults. It is our job as parents to teach our children the power of their actions and words towards others.

Unfortunately a loving household is not enough these days to solve the problem. Talk to your children and find out what others say to them and take action! You will be surprised by the outcome after some compassionate conversation. Most parents don’t have a clue, or don’t want to lose another parent’s friendship if they speak up about their children. I am proud to say that my wife and I are not afraid to speak up if we see a problem, nor do we get offended by others telling us the same. We don’t care about just fitting in; we care about our children’s future.

Do you now know why my six year old thinks the world is a happy place? She hasn’t been molded by other’s insults yet. My older ones are a different story. I still struggle everyday to try and explain why people can be so cruel so they understand how not to be. This was a good wake up call for me and hopefully for you as well.